Contemplation is Not . . .


In Contemplation
I find
not enjoyment,
not pleasure,
not happiness,
not peace,
but
a transcendent experience
of reality and truth,
Being in Love.

In Contemplation
I find
not gratification,
not rest,
but
Awareness,
Creativity,
and Freedom.

I have found that
Contemplation
is not some sleepy, suave, restful
embrace of Being
in a dark generalized contentment,
not something general and abstract,
but something concrete and particular
like a Divine piercing of  my darkness.

In Contemplation,
I seem to awaken to the Divine within me
becoming One with
BEING-in-Love
by
Being in Love.


Doubt

I Doubt, Therefore I Am

For so much of my life,
I rued Doubt
as a sign of unfaithfulness.

I now realize
that Doubt is the entry way
to certitude,
not my personal certitude,
but God’s
within me.

Given that the ultimate reality
is God
dwelling in me,
I am not justified
by any action of my own,
but called by God,
by the voice of Ultimate BEING,
to pierce through
the irrelevance of my ego
to find relevance
in God.

I had to learn that
relevance in God
is not something I can grasp
or possess,
only something I can receive
as Gift.

My life, thus,
must be
OPEN
to Gift,
from God
and from Others.



The Journey

My Spiritual Journey

is not a dream,
not a temptation to escape,
not an evasion from life.

It is not an avoidance of contradiction
or running from confusion.

On the contrary,
the path
leads to clarity and unity
through contradiction and confusion
by way of my acceptance
of things as they are.

The journey does not withdraw
from fire;
it is in the very heart
of fire,
yet remaining cool,
through gentleness and humility
attained through
self-abandonment.

Once I set foot on this path
and began the journey,
I had no excuse for stopping
as I recognized without doubt or hesitation
that this path, this journey
is the only thing
fully real
with all else deception
or at best a clue
to my
Spiritual Journey.

Blessing for me

A Blessing for Me

is finding
a Space
of Liberty and Silence
in which
Possibilities are allowed to surface
along with new choices,
beyond the routine.

Such a Space
creates for me
a new experience of time,
not as a stop-gap of stillness,
not as a blank to be filled,
not as an untouched space to be conquered,
but as a Space
which seems to enjoy
its own potentiality and hope
and 
its own Presence to itself,
Virgin Time.

It is My Own Time,
but not dominated by my ego
and its demands.

It is Time
OPEN to others,
Compassionate Time,
Time for
Being in Love.

I tried

When I attempted

to do things for others
without having deepened
my own Self-understanding,
my own sense of Freedom,
my own integrity,
my capacity to Love,
I really had nothing of value
to give.

I only communicated the contagion
of my own ideas,
my ego-centered thoughts,
my own delusions,
my doctrinaire prejudices.

Tragic.

To truly do things for others,
I needed to die,
to die to my ego,
to die in order to enter a higher life,
to die for the sake of life,
and thus to know
the Treasure
as Life,
as Experience,
as Joy
as
Being in Love.